Classic Movies: Cocktail

I miss the 80's. I miss everything about them from That 80's Show to Marvin Gaye being alive (then shot) speaking of which RIP to Phil Hartman, black Michael Jackson, white Michael Jackson, Annie Lennox's human body, Dana Carvey's career (though I hear he's actually been playing Tim Meadows now for 20 years because he a master of disguise.) to the Clippers glory years (How I long for you Benoit Benjamin). Being constructed myself in the 80's (screw you Jonathan Lipnicki, you little vampire) I felt it was necessary to pay homage to the decade by reviewing the classic, Cocktail. I also happen to be considered by some (Polar Bear?) to be an alcoholic so how tasty a treat for me to explore the inner workings of such a fine beverage.

Cast:

Tom Cruise: This was classic Tom before we thought he was gay even though he was in Top Gun and was (Rachel getting) married to Mimi Rogers. Oh wait, he sounds pretty straight to me back in the 80's. Unless you died from aids in Hollywood, you were all machismo back then but that's a story reserved for pillow talk (Too wrong?). He smiled, he wooed, he mixed some cocktails and of course ended with the girl somehow (though he met her in Caribbean as a bartender, knocked her up, cheated on her with a woman twice his age (DJ Enerate?) only to realize that he was just (about) a boy toy so he runs back to the girl, gets her and becomes a bartender again .... COCKTAIL!!!!). - spoiler alert! If you just read that last statement, I've ruined this movie for you like Nia Vardalos ruined life as well as sex and did I mention Tom Hanks' career. Now that's movie magic back when a blockbuster was 78 mil at the box office. 80's!!!!!

Elisabeth Shue: I had to go back to the future (part 2 or 3 - move over Claudia Wells) for this one and what I mean by that is some alone time in my bathroom for approximately 2 minutes to 1 hr 43 mins (Depends if I'm playing Sporcle or not). The only cocktail Cruise could handle when he saw her was the cocktail of love and boy, Oh boy, am I addicted to love (80's!!!!!!). Men everywhere went Tears for Fears for her in the 80's be it how she took the virginity of a 12 year old in The Karate Kid or how she taught the world how to babysit (Fuck you Christina Applegate or should I say Jim Gaffigan's dry hump lover). She has never done wrong be it earning Nic Cage an oscar or going Shakespeare in Hamlet 2 (Too Coogan?). Speaking of the devil (went down to Georgia), Nick Nolte once wasn't a crazy mad man who always needed a COCKTAIL!!!!, he was once actually a heartthrob. But don't ask me, ask Jaqueline Bissette's rock hard nips or was that statement too deep for you. Shue is such a tour de force that she placed her brother on Melrose Place instead of herself because Elisabeth never sells out her decade Heather. She's even 0 degrees of separation from Mr. Kevin (loves to show his penis, it's how he closed on Sedgwick) Bacon but you already knew that because your not that hollow, man.

Bryan Brown: He's Australian, recognizable, bones a gorgeous Kelly Lynch in the movie (though she was a (lady and the) tramp but it was the 80's baby, all goes), loses everything (classic 80's), and kills himself. Hasn't been heard from since. COCKTAIL!!!!

That's it for now, no links for a little because the Internet didn't exist back when this film was released. So make due, have a little fun, and sip on a COCKTAIL!!!!

Machine