Say It Isn't So

Very rarely does the viewing public get a chance to witness a once in a generation talent. With his Midwestern roots and TCU education, it seemed only appropriate to anoint him as the new Sheriff of Hollywood. Were talking about none another than screen legend Chris Klein. Never mind the fact that Chris consistently showed the same blank stare in every film or that he came from Omaha. Truth of matter is that he's an 'actors, actor' similar to when Bobby Schneider graced us with his starring and directing role in the art house film Big Stan. A cinematic adventure that tickled us in all the right places. We'll deal with Bobby another time and return to focusing on cinematic God Chris Klein.

Klein got his start in Election, but that's to decent of a movie for this site to comment on. Really Chris got his breakout role in American Pie as Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher brilliantly playing a member of the lacrosse team who was a bit more sensitive than the normal jock. But what made this role stand out was Klein's brilliant use of his animalistic charm as he often referred to him as 'Nova' 'Casanova' and also his ability to tell any woman to and quote "Suck him beautiful." Eventually 'Oz' put his Big Dick Playa days behind him and settled down with Mena Suvari and finally someone was able to uncover the mysteries of Pittsburgh.

With all this good fortune Chris had finally landed a lead role in Say It Isn't So. A cutting edge comedy with some of Hollywood's biggest hitters including Richard Jenkins, although he may have just been visiting, Dig McCaffrey, and Julianne Moore's better half Heather Graham. However all of this didn't equate to box office success as the film bombed, but Klein got another chance as the lead in Rollerball. A film that did the 'Halle Berry' meaning that it did not go straight to DVD but rather straight to video. Unfortunately Chris could not rebound from this and through these failures he has been arrested twice for DUIs. During the second of these arrest Chris was asked if he was suicidal, and another direct quote from him "If I wanted to kill myself I'd fucking kill myself I'd be awesome at it, Shotgun to the dick."

Settle Down El Paso.